ABUSE (Physical/Domestic/Sexual)
ABUSE
It is heart-rending that we are in a generation that accepts what is wrong as the right thing, while what is right is taken as the bad thing. There are different forms of abuse all around us that even the justice system is not appropriating due punishments to, hence it has multiplied in our society. Unfortunately, abuse, most of the time leaves the abused wounded/distressed either physically or emotionally. There are some forms of abuse that you have the right to stand up against and “SAY NO MORE”.
Abuse is the improper usage or treatment of a thing, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. Usually, the abuser wants to gain control over another person forcefully. There are different types of abuse such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, spousal, or domestic abuse, psychological or emotional abuse, financial abuse, elder abuse, child abuse and many other. In this text, attention would be given to physical & domestic abuse and sexual abuse.
The severity of the consequence is usually dependent on the form and extent of abuse. Sadly, an individual can experience more than one type of abuse and ultimately makes the abused experience the following:
- Depression
- Shame
- Dissociation
- Post-traumatic stress disorder
- Trust issues
- Anxiety
- Self-destructive behaviours
- Mood issues
PHYSICAL ABUSE & DOMESTIC ABUSE
Physical abuse is the use of physical force against someone, in such a way that injures or endangers that individual. Physical abuse can happen in dating or married relationships as well as outside relationships. While domestic abuse/domestic violence/family violence is an abuse in a domestic/ intimate setting such as in marriage and may take multiple forms such as physical, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse which may aggravate to violence against children and the elderly. Globally, the number of women experiencing domestic violence surpasses men. Know this, you have the right to stand up and say “NO” to this kind of abuse before it consumes your life.
Recently, a young lady (22 years) in Cape Town, South Africa jumped from a 10th floor and killed herself and after her death, stories and pictures of how toxic her relationship was, surfaced online. From the pictures and videos seen, you can sense that she was in an abusive/ toxic relationship which contributed to her death. Some ladies believe when a guy they are in love with, beats them, it’s LOVE. My dear that is an ERROR. What is even worse is that a lot of ladies tolerate this and end up marrying the guy which leads to bigger issues of abuse in the marriage. If you are dating a guy and he slaps you, please speak to your legs and leave. Do not let your heart get in the way of your head, a lot of people are dead today because they refuse to address the signs. Even in marriage, if you experience domestic abuse, leave while you seek help for your marriage. A lot of this could have been avoided if life partners were chosen correctly.
Below are some pointers that your partner is subjecting you to domestic abuse:
·Roughly grabs and hits you.
·Makes you feel if you quit the relationship, your life is in danger.
·Uses alcohol and drugs as bases for their abuse on you.
·Teaches you a lesson after a fight by doing some absurd things such as locking you up etc.
·Takes away your will to do anything you want and makes you comply to only what they dictate.
·Constantly monitors your every move for instance showing up to make sure you are where you said you will be.
·Resist you from visiting friends and family.
Know this, God does not approve of such character and you are not entitled to such life. Be courageous to make the first call to seek help and GET OUT. Love is not defined by abuse. Love is kind and does not insist on its own way. One does not dispute disagreement in a relationship but always disagree to agree. God hates the one who loves violence and there is punishment for such a person.
See what God’s word says below.
Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Ephesians 4:26
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.
Psalm 11:5
The LORD tests the righteous, but His soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.
1 Corinthians 13:4–7
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Proverbs 14:29
Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.
James 1:20–21
Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. So, get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.
Proverbs 29:22
An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.
Proverbs 19:19
A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them, and you will have to do it again.
Proverbs 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered.
John 13:34–35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
Exodus 21:22
Now if people struggle with each other and strike a pregnant woman so that she gives birth prematurely, but there is no injury, the guilty person shall certainly be fined as the woman’s husband may demand of him, and he shall pay as the judges decide.
SEXUAL ABUSE
Sexual abuse is unwanted sexual activity, with perpetrators using force, making threats or taking advantages of victims not able to give consent. Most of the time the perpetrator and the victim know each other and that it is why the victim is usually shocked or surprised by such action.
Sexual abuse encompasses rape, attempted rape, molestation and inappropriate touching. Sexual abuse is not limited to forced sexual activity, it is also an abuse on the order of sex ordained by God, which is meant to be between a man and a woman. Any kind of sexual abuse is a sin because it is a violation of bodily boundaries. It is a sin against God, it is an attack on His image bearer.
Sexual abuse has been part of human history even in the bible we see the case of Kings wanting to snatch people’s wives, but God intervened ((Sarai) Genesis 12:10–16, (Rebekah) 26:1–10), Dinah, Jacob’s daughter was raped (Genesis 34), sexual assault was prevalent in Sodom and Gomorrah, Tamar; David’s daughter was sexually assaulted by her brother Amnon (2 Samuel 13:11–20) etc. Sexuality was given by God to be enjoyed between a husband and his wife but has been perverted in our world, today.
Victims of sexual abuse feel ashamed because the society is less opened to make them feel comfortable to speak out. It takes the bold to speak out. They are been looked down on and some perpetrators go scot-free, but there is a greater Judge that fights for the oppressed (God). See what Absalom told his sister, he said “He is your brother, regard not this thing. Hold your peace….”. The victims also feel it hampers their future in some culture, of finding a life partner. See how Tamar felt, she remained desolate (wretched, unhappy) in her brother’s house. That’s how some victims feel for the rest of their lives, stealing their joy in their courtship or marriage afterward.
1 Corinthians 6:9–11
Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
1 Corinthians 6:12–16
All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything. “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food” — and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.
Leviticus 18:19–23
You shall not approach a woman to uncover her nakedness while she is in her menstrual uncleanness. And you shall not lie sexually with your neighbour’s wife and so make yourself unclean with her. You shall not give any of your children to offer them to Molech, and so profane the name of your God: I am the Lord. You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. And you shall not lie with any animal and so make yourself unclean with it, neither shall any woman give herself to an animal to lie with it: it is perversion.
Psalm 72:4
May He defend the cause of the poor of the people, give deliverance to the children of the needy, and crush the oppressor!
Psalm 9:9
The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is near to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Isaiah 61:1–3
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendour.
Have you been a victim of physical, domestic, and sexual abuse? Are you crushed in spirit, feeling desolate like Tamar, wounded from your childhood? I bring you a message of hope today. God is ready to find you where you are, if you will call on Him like Hagar called to Him when she was sent away with her pregnancy by her master out of jealousy of Sarah (Genesis 21:12–21). You are not alone; God sees your pain and want to heal you and liberate you, so you can pursue your greater purpose in life.
If you are the abuser, God wants to heal you too and deliver you from such habit.
PRAYER
•Father heal me of my pain, this baggage that has deprive me of joy and give to me the Spirit of joy and make me an overcomer to pursue my greater purpose in Jesus name, Amen.
- Father forgive me of my abusive actions and give me a new heart like you gave to Saul, help me to love, like You love in Jesus name, Amen.
THE END
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Dan Moore Kris Gage Wake Up Call P.S. I Love You @writingsolo
