OFFENCES II
HOW DO I DEAL WITH OFFENCES?
Let us have a look.
Our reaction to offences is dependent on our choice. One can decide to take it or leave it. Mind you, nobody says it’s easy. What someone says or does to us is our circumstance but what we think, or feel is our choice. Don’t let others define you.
“To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us.” — David A. Bednar
If an offence is physical, it is important to separate from the offender before you process your feeling. If not physical, we can take a cue from the following people and more:
Joseph
·Forgive: One can imagine what he could have felt with what his brothers did to him but he chose to forgive them. They were not sure of his forgiveness when their father died and had to beg for forgiveness through a message claiming it was their father’s request (Genesis 45:8, 45:15, 50:16–17).
The Canaanite Woman, Jesus, Stephen
·Don’t take the offence: She chose not to take the offence despite being addressed as a dog (Matthew 15:21 -28). Jesus and Stephen despite their death sentence, did not want God to hold the offence against their killers (Luke 23:24, Acts 7:59–60).
Ecclesiastes 7:21–22
Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you have cursed others.
Samson
·Don’t take revenge: God commands us not to take up vengeance but rather let Him. Samson on the other hand decided to give an eye for an eye on those who killed his wife and her father.
Leviticus 19:18
Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against any of your people but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.
Romans 12:19
Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
Romans 12:20
On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.
Matthew 5:38–40
You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them on the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.
1 Peter 3:8–9
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
·Love them still: This could be a tough part. While growing up I used to wonder how vulnerable my parents were, thinking within me that I can not tolerate this. People they drew close, stab them in the back, they forgive them and give them another chance, the sequence repeats itself repeatedly. But what I observed was that despite all, they were always at the top, giving to these people. It is easier to love people that love you but to love those who hate you, it’s tough. It can only be, by the help of the Spirit of God and interestingly, that’s what we are called to do as Christians. To love people means being prepared to be hurt by people.
Matthew 5:44–47
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.
·Communicate: Some people may give you cold shoulder, misbehave with you or ignore you without you having an idea of what has happened. Forget your ego and approach the person. I have tried this in my life and both you and the other person would be surprised he or she got it all wrong. Address the offence and do not attack the person. Always remember the aim is to settle things and not to win. And only go to speak when you are not angry. You may not know what they think they know, so it’s better to clarify things by talking. If you feel hurt or offended by someone, it is also important to let him/her know so the offence can be taken out.
Genesis 31:36
Then Jacob became angry and berated Laban. Jacob said to Laban, “What is my offence? What is my sin, that you have hotly pursued me?
But the reason was, Laban has benefited greatly due to Jacob and didn’t want him to leave so his wealth can continually increase.
Genesis 30:27
Please listen to me, Laban replied. I have become wealthy, for the Lord has blessed me because of you.
Matthew 18:15–17
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
·Do it for your healing: Offense hurts you more than it does anybody else. Scientifically it has been proven that harboring anger, bitterness, and resentment increases incidences of depression, unhappiness, and higher mortality rates, just to name a few. It also hampers your prayers.
Psalm 66:18
If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.
Proverbs 18:1
An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.
·Remain calm: Always try and remain calm, when people involved in offences are too angry to hear each other out, things can escalate.
·Ask God for wisdom to help you understand yourself, the other person, and the approach to resolve things.
·Take a quiet exit, either from a workplace, relationship or church.
Above all, we all need to worry more about offending God, because the repercussion can be hard. One of the offence against God is rejecting His message of Hope, Salvation. Are you ready for His second coming? Come to Him today, He is waiting at the door of your heart.
Take this prayer to accept the Lordship of Jesus over your life:
Lord Jesus, I come to you today asking you to accept me and forgive all my sins. Wash me with your precious blood that was shed for me. I am sorry for offences and bitterness I have allowed and the way I have led my life all along. Be my Saviour, come, take the Lordship of my life from today. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit henceforth and be my friend, comfort, and guide. Amen.
Welcome to the Kingdom of Life!
Matthew 13:41–42
The Son of Man will send out His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all things that offend, and those who practice lawlessness, and will cast them into the furnace of fire. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Romans 4:25
Jesus was delivered up because of our offences and was raised because of our justification.
- GOD HELP US ALL!
THE END
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Dan Moore Kris Gage Wake Up Call P.S. I Love You @writingsolo
