THE PERSON
Who am I to run with for the rest of my life?
One of the biggest decisions in life is the choice of a life partner. This decision can either make you or mar you.
There are some main factors crucial to having a great marriage; who you are (identity, & are you right for the right person), who you marry (the person), and how you courted (the process).
Ask a typical person what kind of partner he or she wants, and the list goes………… majorly capitalized on fantasy. This usually sets a lot of people up for disappointment as no one matches that. The truth is you do not know what you want. Some crave for women who look like celebrities such as Beyoncé or Kim Kardashian, (looks mostly that are not real), mind you these celebrities struggle in their marriage, their husbands cheat on them despite their beauty. That tells you beauty does not secure a home. Some want men as rich as Zuckerberg etc (some of these men beat up their wives black and blue in their homes), wealth does not guarantee a happy marriage. So the best bet will be to turn to God who knows you more than you know yourself to connect you to the person who you need in your life because the heart of man is deep, who can know it, if not his/her maker.
Proverbs 18:22
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.”
Proverbs 31:10–14
“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.”
Likewise, a wife, who is found by a good husband finds peace and happiness.
Words in the scripture are choicely used. There is a “finding” that goes into having the right partner. The man is to do the finding while the woman is to pray herself to be found by the right one. As a lady don’t go serving yourself to a man just because you like him, it is always the wrong move, it backfires. The finding is an action word, it takes effort (Effort to ask God, watching with open eyes, and having the correct mind sensitivity).
I started praying about my husband at age 14, thanks to the man that counselled me, while my husband began praying at age 15.
Here are some pointers that can guide in identifying the right person:
•See that your life partner loves God more than he or she loves you.
It is so important to observe your partner’s love for God. Why? Because in time, the way he or she loves and serves Him will be reflected in the way he or she loves and serves you.
Matthew 22:37–39
“Jesus replied: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbour as yourself.”
•Is your life partner a person of character?
Men and women of character are trustworthy in all they do and have an appetite for righteousness. They will keep their word no matter what the cost.
Psalm 119:1
“Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord.”
•How kind is your life partner to others?
If you don’t see your partner treat others with kindness and grace, in time he or she will be treating you the same way.
Ephesians 4:32
“And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.”
•Does your life partner treats his or her parents with honour and respect?
Ephesians 6:2
“Honour your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise.”
•Know his or her background.
A man’s background tends to play out in his or her life. It can be negative or positive. Abraham knew having a wife from the Canaanites wasn’t right for his son as he wanted his son to continue on the right path with God and the Canaanites were idol worshippers. It wasn’t about ethnicity but about keeping his generation on the path of honouring and serving God.
Genesis 24:1–4
“Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.”
•Is your life partner respected by others.
Be wise about how you do this, but I would recommend that you discreetly ask a few people what they have observed about the person you’re considering. Pay as much attention to their hesitations as to their words!
Proverbs 22:1
“Choose a good reputation over great riches, for being held in high esteem is better than having silver or gold.”
•Hope your life partner is not flirtatious?
Proverbs 26:23
“Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just as a pretty glaze covers a common clay pot.”
A person’s actions and looks speak volumes, so be advised.
•Make sure you understand the true priorities of your life partner.
Watch closely to see signs of your partner’s love, faith, and purity. Has this person put God first? Does this person live to serve others? Is this person selfish? Make sure you are in your purpose so that your partner finds you there and understands your direction. Two cannot work together except they agree. Not that, later he’s heading in direction A and you are heading in direction Z. Your partner must be someone who wants to run life with you and vice-versa and allow each party to play their best game. A marriage where two walks separately is not a marriage intended by God.
1 Timothy 4:12
“Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.”
•Make sure you know who your life partner’s close friends are.
A man’s association will tell where he or she is heading in life.
1 Corinthians 15:33
“Do not be misled. ‘Bad company corrupts good character.”
Proverbs 13:20
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
•Hope your life partner is not contentious or violent?
If you’re picking up a lot of unhappiness or anger in this person, then be warned.
Proverbs 15:17
“Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.”
•How compatibility is the person with you?
•Are you guys, socially compatible?
•Are you guys, mentally compatible?
•Are you guys, theologically compatible?
•Is there a physical attraction? You don’t want a partner that won’t be appealing to you, mind you, you are spending the rest of your years with him or her (you don’t want to be daydreaming about someone else).
Amos 3:3
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
•Seek Godly counsel as regards “the person”.
Many at times in love, people are blinded to many things. If love is blind, marriage is an eye-opener. People see the obvious and decide to be blinded to it, saying he or she will change after marriage. The truth is, you cannot change your spouse after marriage, only God can change a man. The subtle things you’re blinded to become the main issues in marriage and most of the time others can see it when you’ve turned blind eye to it. It is, therefore, better to seek advice from people who have foresight. Now am not talking about your friends because who knows, your friend may be jealous of you but people of maturity and spiritual foresight.
Proverbs 19:27
“Stop listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.”
Proverbs 19:20
“Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end, you will be counted among the wise.”
Proverbs 15:22
“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.”
•Make sure you ask the Lord for discernment.
Proverbs 3:5–6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.”
Psalm 25:4–5
“Show me the path where I should walk, O Lord; point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All-day long I put my hope in you.”
People do pretend to get things/someone at times. Don’t just let your heart do the talking!
You can also check my previous story here and the post that relates to this write-up.
THE END
Dan Moore Kris Gage Wake Up Call P.S. I Love You @writingsolo
