SEX
Sex is a subject most churches shy away to talk about, but it is a big deal. To the unmarried, it is a passion that most in today’s time are struggling to control, and to the married, it is an essential ingredient for a healthy marriage. Sex was intended by God to be enjoyed and respected between a man and a woman in marriage.
Contrary to the perception that the world points that God is down on fun and sex, that not having sex before marriage is a strict measure, God is a good father, and He wants to protect His own from pain. Yes, pain! Remember He created you and He created Sex. This case is likened to a car made by Toyota. It comes with a maintenance manual. The maintenance guide is meant to help the owner to maintain the car to work effectively and last longer. Imagine if the car owner decides to do all against what was written in the manual to the car, your guess is good as mine on what will happen to the car. God is very aware of the pro and cons of sex, especially outside a union. He knows what sex represents deeper than the level we do, if not why do you think the devil uses it as an instrument to damage people. God knows that if we pursue sex outside His guidelines, we will suffer the consequence. Sex is a covenant sign.
Genesis 2:24
Therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
SEX TO THE UNMARRIED
Sex is a good thing, the desire is pure, but it needs parameters to serve the correct purpose. As a single unmarried person, you should not feel ashamed of the sexual desires you feel. If you do not feel it, then there is a problem, and the person needs to get help. God designed us as sexual beings, He is very intentional in all that He does. He gave us our sexuality to teach us of His covenant love. For us to emulate and practice it. Covenant love is more than a romantic feeling, it is hinged on a promise that must be kept, and that is His kind of love to us.
Sexual desires call us to pursue covenant and remind us that we were made for intimacy. To build self-control. Not for a fling/affair or for sexual release looking at a computer screen, but for the sacrificial, life-giving intimacy represented by the marriage covenant.
When sex is released outside marriage, you build a fire with nothing to contain it, it spread to places you never intended and destroys things. So, you get burned in the bid to get warmth (commitment, intimacy). Sex should follow not precede marriage. Sex is the consummation of the marriage covenant. The seal should follow, not precede, the covenant. Start the fire in the fireplace and then turn on the gas, that is the right process. If you are engaging in sex outside marriage either as a single person or married, put an end to it now and ask God for forgiveness and help to exercise self-control.
1 Corinthians 7:9
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
People who commit fornication or adultery do always give excuses for their actions, but the fact is those excuses do not change the nature of what sex is and the fact that it will burn them in one aspect or the other. Sex on any bed other than the marriage bed is defiled.
1 Corinthians 6:18–20
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So, you must honour God with your body.
Song of Songs 2:7b
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
1 Thessalonians 4:3–8
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honour, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore, whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.
SEX TO THE MARRIED
In marriage sex brings about intimacy, frequent sex deepens the bond between the husband and his wife. Both parties must always work to satisfy each other as it is meant to be enjoyed. It is more of a need for a man than a want while affection is the need in a marriage for the woman. Having this understanding and doing the needful will allow a healthy marriage. Dr. Myles Munroe puts it this way, that a car needs gasoline to perform its function, without fuel the car would not move. As gasoline is to the car, sex is to the man. It is a NEED, not a want. A need is a requirement. If you take a car to a gas station and the station has no fuel, the car looks for another gas station that can supply it with fuel. This is one of the reasons for infidelity in marriages, when some men feel starved, they step out of their marriage to get it, which is a SIN.
Therefore, a wife must learn to put an extra post on her station “ALWAYS OPEN”. Every wife must come to terms that sex is her husband’s need and must do all within her capacity to meet that need as marriage is an obligation to serve by the two parties involved. This is not to say that it is the wife alone that must do the work of satisfying her husband. Sexual intimacy within marriage is the celebration of covenant and sexual faithfulness is the promise of covenant.
Malachi 2:14–15
But you say, ‘Why does he not?’ Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
Couples should commit to meet each other’s need. Never use your body to punish your spouse.
1 Corinthians 7:1–4
Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.
Couples should communicate sexual needs, talk about the vision for their sex life, deal with sexual problems which may be medical, emotional, or physical. Abuse from the past, unresolved conflict can be a big blockage to enjoying sex with your partner.
Couples should commit to sexual purity, not allowing fantasy in the mind with another person or pornographic viewing, take control of your mind. Sex outside of marriage degrades the value of a man.
Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Proverbs 6:26
For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
Job 31:1
I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.
Couples should not move with friends who are breaking the covenant of their marriages.
Psalm1:1
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers.
Couples should create an atmosphere for sex, have a date night regularly, etc.
Proverbs 5:18–20
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth: A loving doe, a graceful fawn — may her breasts satisfy you always; may you be captivated by her love forever. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress, or embrace the bosom of a stranger?
Ecclesiastes 9:9
Enjoy life with your beloved wife all the days of the fleeting life that God has given you under the sun — all your fleeting days. For this is your portion in life and in your labour under the sun.
Contain your sexual drive in the right place!
THE END
You can also check my previous story here.
Dan Moore Kris Gage Wake Up Call P.S. I Love You @writingsolo
